The Barn at the Homestead

The Barn at the Homestead

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Rethinking everything . . .

     It's been another "staycation"--a week away from my vocation as an associate rector in a large parish.  It's been a week living in the comfort of our little homestead, the one we are calling "Almost Paradise."  It's the place that we share with our three goats and two hens and our gardening efforts.  The garden has been less than stellar this year; we are grateful for the Farmer's Markets in our area!
     We've started a small scale aquaponics this week; a fish named Moby and some micro greens.  Our dream is to do it on a larger scale one day, but for now the small tank with a tiny fish has us learning. And our excitement mounts!
     "Staycations" are an invitation.  An invitation to relax, refresh and to rethink things.  Recently our daughter has moved home; she's an adult now and has brought her little doggie--our granddog!  Pack rat would be a good nickname; alas, she is a material girl.  And our small little place isn't big enough for all of the stuff!
     So . . . it's got me rethinking everything.  Time to pull out Doris Janzen Longacre's book Less is More again!  I'm not sure I can live as a minimalist--I do am a material girl!  But can I do with less? The challenge really is WHY do I want to do with less.  Perhaps it is so that I can actually have more to give.  To make room for those lasting things, like good friends and family. 
     In these days of rethinking my life, I am centered on the church--not just my parish, but Church (with the capital C).  I wondering if I am following Jesus; am I counted among his disciples?  Again today I've read of another potential split on a demonation (makes the heart sad).  I think Jesus wanted us to be one....
  So, I'll continue to rethink everything.  Grateful that this homesteading life is leading me to new relationships and new awareness of God's creation.  To rethink is to discern.  Thomas Merton said it best in his prayer:
O Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going,
I do not see the road ahead of me,
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
And that fact that I think
I am following Your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe
That the desire to please You
Does in fact please You.
And I hope I have that desire
In all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything
Apart from that desire to please You.
And I know that if I do this
You will lead me by the right road,
Though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore I will trust You always
Though I may seem to be lost
And in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
For You are ever with me,
And You will never leave me
To make my journey alone.